Coffee Shop
by golden gibberish
Summary: Tony's a bit surprised when a young girl throws a rock at our favorite super villain, and then runs off. 'Course, he also doesn't expect to run into her ages later in a coffee shop. Not a Mary-Sue (I hope), no OC pairings, and bitty-bits of Stony, Clintasha, and Bruce/Darcy. T for swearing and maybe slight mentions of depression later.
1. Loki's a prat and Natasha gets it

Disclaimer:

Bruce: Golden Gibberish does not own any of the Avengers. Right?

gg: Ah, well, I-

Natasha (cocking her gun):_ Right_?

gg: I'd-

Hawkeye (lovingly stroking his bow): _Right_?

gg (freaking out for realsies now): Fine, no, but I wish I did! I'd be like, super rich, and famous, and JARVIS could do my homework, and Loki could-

Loki: I could _what_, exactly?

(Tony grins evilly.)

gg (turning cherry red): You could… rule the world! Yup! Just what I was going to say! And why do people keep inter-

Thor: You would let my brother take your planet? Why do I bother with you people?

Thor shakes his head sadly, and walks away. The Avengers follow him.

Loki: As you Midgardians say, 'nice one'. (He disappears.)

gg: NOOO! Come back! I need you for my story!

**Chapter 1: In which Loki is a prat and Natasha gets it**

Loki was back (dramatic music, please). He'd escaped whatever Asgardian prison they'd stuck him in, and was baying for revenge.

Literally. He'd brought an army of, not Chitauri, but alien-robotic-wolf things. With giant antlers. And scales.

"What the hell are these things?" Clint cried as he shot an explosive arrow at one. True to its name, it exploded upon contact, spraying wolf-guts everywhere. _Smelly_ wolf-guts.

"They are Bilgesnipes, my friend! Worthy foes, but perhaps a little disgusting to battle." Thor replied, spinning his hammer around like a helicopter. And rose like one, too. Clint made a mental note to ask Tony if the genius could tamper with his bow do it would do that.

"Whatever they're called, we need to get them out of the way and find Loki." Natasha reprimanded. "He's the one controlling them, right?"

"No need, my dear Widow." She was interrupted by a smooth voice: Loki. He was standing victoriously on a rather charred Stark Tower, surrounded by rubble.

"You! Why does _every_ bad guy have it in for my tower?" Tony moaned. "First you, then Doom, then that prissy-boy in tights, and _then_ that-"

"It is so _hideous_, we have no choice but to destroy it, to prove that we are better than you," Loki replied, showing a razor-sharp grin. Tony could see it because the god had chosen to teleport – _right_ in front of Iron Man.

"Dude! Ever heard of personal space?"

"My… apologies… if I am _unaware_ of local customs. I would think that you would be more worried about my army of Bilgesnipes laying waste to your city than my proximity, though."

"What army?'

Loki looked at him as if he were crazy. And then he looked around.

There were Bilgesnipes, yes… but they were all dead. The Avengers stood around, looking proud (and a bit smelly).

Loki blinked, but recovered quickly. "I am not so easily defeated! I have grown stronger since we last fought. Face me, and prepare to fall, weak as you are!"

"Oh yeah? Well, face this!" And Iron Man blasted his repulsers - straight at Loki's face. Loki barely flinched.

"Shit."

Just then, a rock hit Loki in the shoulder.

"_Oi_! You _prat_!" The Norse god spun around.

"Yes, _you_!" He identified the speaker: a young girl marching… straight at him.

"The hell do you think you're doing?" They all got a closer look at her.

The girl herself was average. Not short, not tall. Slightly thicker than was considered attractive. Dark-ish brown, thick hair went a few inches past her shoulders, and under too-long bangs, olive green eyes glared. She might have been 14 or 15.

Her accessories were slightly unusual, though. Bracelets marched up her arms, almost to her elbow, covering her sleeves. They were varied, too: rubber bracelets proclaiming band names, silver charm bracelets, antique-ish gold bracelets, duct tape homemade bracelets; you name it.

"Excuse me?" Loki asked, bemused.

"The _hell_ do you _think _you're _doing_?" She was pissed. "You waltz in here, _again,_ and _beat_ up _my city_, _again_! You already lost! Stop throwing temper tantrums and _get on with your life_!"

Tony tried not to laugh, while the Captain worried for the girl.

"You tiny mortal! Who do you think you are, to speak to me this way?!"

"Oh, so just because I'm _human_, and I don't have _superpowers_, I'm nobody? I'm _less_ than a _little boy_ who can't get over his daddy issues? _Okay_, I'm _sorry_ that you and father and brother don't get along, but blowing up cities _isn't gonna help_!" She stood on her tiptoes and shoved a finger in his face.

Loki's attention was focused solely on this girl now. "You will regret this, child!" He lifted his staff – and fell down, unconscious. Natasha was sticking two needles, one for each hand, into the god's neck.

"Oh, good." the assassin said, as if commenting on the weather. "It worked. R&D weren't sure it would on a god."

"_Thank you_!" The girl rolled her eyes dramatically. "_Somebody_ finally got it! I mean, _jeez,_ you people are _slow_!"

The collective Avengers stared at her. "Um, no offense, miss, but who _are_ you?" Steve asked.

"Nobody." She started to walk away. Thor caught up with her and put a hand on her shoulder.

"My lady, we simply wish to thank you! You distracted my brother and saved many people who-"

Thor would have continued, but he noticed the pointed look aimed at his hand. He removed it.

"Listen, kid. Just tell us your name, 'kay?" Iron Man's robotic voice asked.

She smiled warmly and said, "Jane Doe. But is that Bilge Sniper thing over there still alive?" The Avengers all turned around. She was telling the truth: one of the larger Bilgesnipes was getting up, growling and shaking itself off. By the time it was defeated, the girl was gone.

"That child has the same name as my lady!" Thor boomed. "Perhaps they are acquainted?"

"No, Thor." Clint sighed. "_No one_ is named Jane Doe."

"Why?"

"It's a name police use when they don't know the name of a dead woman." Tony tried, and failed, to explain, already distracted.

Thor was aghast. "She is dead?"

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Later, when Fury tried to find out who the girl was, he discovered that there are _way_ too many 14-year-old girls with brown hair and green eyes on S.H.I.E.L.D. databases.

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Hey, thank you for reading! Please, please, review. Tell me what you thought! It's my first, so criticism is welcomed. Thanks!


	2. Laptops and pedophiles

Disclaimer:

Nick Fury: She doesn't own us.

gg: Nope. If I did, Coulson wouldn't be dead.

Phil: I'm not-

Clint: Oh, I miss him so much!

Phil: Uh, guys...

Natasha: He was like a father to me...

Phil: Natasha, I'm-

Tony: He was a good man.

Phil: Stark, seriously-

Fury: He was a better agent.

Phil: _Hello_!

Steve: I never did sign those cards...

Phil: That's okay, you can do it n-

Agent Hill: Ah, it's too late now. They're covered in blood!

Phil: They're WHAT?

(Phil screams in anger and charges Fury.)

Everyone: AAAAHHH a ghost!

gg: What just happened?

**Chapter 2: In which there are shitty laptops and pedophiles**

A month passed, during which Loki was brought back to Asgard and the weird green-eyed girl was nearly forgotten.

Cue Tony Stark.

It was a chilly, Thursday November morning, and Tony wanted coffee. Well, he always wanted coffee, but he _really_ wanted some right now.

Unfortunately, he couldn't just make some, because that would require being in the Tower, and then Pepper would find him (JARVIS was such a snitch), then Pepper would make him go to the S.H.I.E.L.D. debriefing. With all the Avengers. And Fury. Who he very much did not want to see.

So Tony Stark had run away.

Well, driven. In a gorgeous, brand new sports car that stuck out like a lady's manicured thumb in a pile of men who hadn't showered in months.

Tony was very proud of that metaphor.

But he wanted coffee. Which means… he had to go into a _shop_.

So he located the nearest coffee shop (a privately owned, comfy little one) and walked in; shades on, suit smart.

He ordered the item with the most caffeine – a tall, quadruple shot espresso. With caramel, for good measure. He sipped it, found it amazing, said so, and turned to leave.

And saw someone rather familiar, typing away rapidly on a beat-up old Apple, at a table with two huge, plush armchairs right next to the fireplace.

Tony made a split-second decision and slid into the empty armchair across from her.

"You're that one girl, who threw that rock at Loki!" he said.

"Not you're best pickup line, Mr. Stark." the girl said dryly, not even looking up from her screen.

Really, though, it was a surprise that he even recognized her. Last time, she had been wearing bracelets galore. Now, she was nearly completely blue. Blue clothes, blue jewelry, blue etcetera. It was an odd look, and not completely flattering on her, but hey, this was New York, so…

"I don't know, I've heard worse. I've used worse. And please, call me Tony. Mr. Stark makes me feel old." Tony said, intrigued. "What's your name? I mean, you _have_ to have a _name_, right?"

"Two for two, Mr- Tony. Can he make it a third time?"

"It's not Jane Doe. Thanks for that, by the way. I had to spend two hours explaining to Thor that you weren't dead. So – is it Abby? I like Abby. Abby's a nice name. Had a one night stand with a girl named Abby once. She turned out to be a guy, though."

The girl blinked, her closely-set eyes wide, then laughed. "Oooh, sorry... wrong. Looks like you don't win a prize…" she sang.

"_Dammit_! I think two out of three's not bad! What would I have won?"

"A chance to buy me a coffee." She shook her empty cup. "I'm a regular here, so I don't _think_ they really mind, but I don't like sitting here if I'm not drinking anything."

"That's a pretty crappy prize, kid."

"Not for a pedophile like you. I bet pedophiles love buying young girls drinks."

"I'm not a _pedophile_!"

"Of _course_. Normal old men _regularly_ sit next to and bug young girls who they barely know."

"I'm not old!"

"You're, like, 70."

"No, I'm_ not_!"

"80?"

"I'm_ 41_!"

"I was close."

"_No_, you _weren't_."

"Yup. Where's my coffee?"

"I thought I lost."

"You did. You're also rich. I'm not. Where's my coffee?"

"What do you want?"

"Whatever you have."

"Darlin', this has _way_ too caffeine for you."

"I ate _ground coffee_ once because I didn't have time to make a pot. Don't tell me that it has too much caffeine."

"Fine…" Tony got up and bought another. Setting it down in front of her, he plumped down in the seat again.

"Don't you have somewhere to be?" she asked, sipping it.

"Rude. That was rude. And I even bought you coffee!"

"So?"

"Yes. A meeting. But I don't want to go."

"Ah. Can't you bug someone else?"

"No. What're you doing?"

"Homework."

"Oh. Hey! Shouldn't you be in school right now?"

"I am."

"You have school in a café? I am so jealous."

"I'm homeschooled. It's more… comfortable here."

"You're café-schooled."

"I don't think that's a word."

"It is now."

"Mmm. I s'pose it's more interesting. Sure. I'm café-schooled. And you're a pedophile."

"I thought we agreed that I wasn't!"

"When did we do that?"

"Just now."

The woman behind the counter waved as she got ready to leave. "Bye, Nina!"

"Bye, Sarah. See you tomorrow!" The girl Tony was talking to waved back as the waitress left.

"Ha!"

"Ha what?"

"_Ha_, your name is Nina!"

"Shit."

"_Language_, Nina."

"And my full name's actually Janina."

"Ya-nee-nah?" Tony pronounced.

"Yup. Like I said, I'm here a lot, so all the workers know me pretty well."

"Hey, why don't you have Starktech?" Tony, changing the subject as he was wont to do, gestured toward her Apple.

"Pft. Like I could afford that. I had to save up for months, and do like a thousand hours of odd jobs just to afford _this_ shitty thing."

"You had-"

"Hey, you said you had a meeting you didn't want to go to, right?"

"I believe I may have mentioned that, yes."

"Well, there's a really buff blonde guy outside who strangely resembles Captain America."

"What?"

"He's looking at your car – and now at the café."

"_Fuck_!"

"Here," Nina thought fast. "Hide behind my chair – it's big enough that no one'll see you."

Tony jumped up (grabbing his half-finished coffee) and hid. Just in time, too, because maybe-Steve-Rogers walked in at that exact second.

Maybe-Steve looked around, his eyes falling on Nina. His face lit up with recognition and he walked over to her table.

"You're that one girl, who threw-"

"The rock at Loki. Apparently, that's all I'll ever be known for. I'm Janina Adams," (Tony pouted, unseen, as she gave up her name so easily to Steve), "And _you _must be Captain America." It took everything Nina had not to salivate. Those muscles…

"Just Steve Rogers, ma'am." And so polite! Nina felt a sudden pang of envy directed at whatever girl (or guy) was lucky enough to have him. "Have you seen Tony Stark?"

"Me? Nah. What're the chances I'd meet two Avengers in the same day? Besides, wouldn't there be a mob of paparazzi following him?"

"I don't know. But I am fairly sure that's his car out there…" Steve nodded towards the out-of-place sports car parked between a minivan and a junker.

"Well, that could be a lot of people's car. Person's car? Whatever. Could be anyone's."

"Only Tony would drive something so _ostentatious _to a _café._"

"I take offense at that!" Tony cried, popping his head over the seat.

"You _idiot_!" Nina facepalmed.

"Whoops…" Tony winced.

"You were supposed to be at the meeting _three hours_ ago!"

"Couldn't you have just started _without_ me?"

"No, because this meeting _is about you_!"

"Me? Aw, I'm touched!"

Nina's mouth was twitching upwards. They were kinda adorable together. Steve was rapidly becoming exasperated – not annoyed, like most people would be. Tony was grinning.

"You _shouldn't_ be. It's about PR – which is _not helped_ by you getting _stone-dead drunk_ on Halloween night and hitting on _anything_ and _everything_ you see!"

"Not _everything_!"

"You asked out a _poodle_, for god's sake!"

"She was pretty!"

Nina was shaking with the effort to contain her giggles.

"You are _coming with me_!" Steve grabbed Tony and literally began to drag him out of the store. "Thank you, miss." the captain added to Nina.

"Byeee, Nina!" Tony called.

She threw her empty coffee cup at him, hitting him in the face.

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Yeah, I know it's soon, but I had the first two chapters done already, and I'm not very patient.

Thank you, thank you, and you know you want to review 'cause you feel bad for poor, little old me! And also you want to point out all my awful and obvious mistakes. Which I would be grateful for. No, really!


	3. Background and smiles

Disclaimer:

Pepper: Golden Gibberish doesn't own the Avengers. So don't sue her.

Clint: Yeah, she wants to be a lawyer. She'd totally sue you right back.

gg: It doesn't work like that…

Tony: What kind of profession is lawyer? That's totally boring!

gg: No way! You get to yell at people!

Bruce: Now who's missing the point…?

(Coulson appears suddenly, gun in hand. He catches sight of gg and growls)

Phil: You!

gg: Me?

Phil: You made everyone think I was dead, even though I have my _own bloody television show_!

gg: No I didn't! And to be fair, Agents of SHIELD isn't that great…

Phil: YOU WROTE THEM! AND DON'T INSULT MY SHOW!

gg: Meep!

Phil: And now, my revenge…

gg: Noooo! You're acting totally OOC!

Phil: And whose fault is that?

gg: Ah… Oh my god, is that Loki?

Phil: Where? Where? (runs off, pissed, looking for the god that murdered him)

gg: Why does it seem like my disclaimers are as long as my chapters?

**Chapter 3: In which there is a bit of background and some smiles**

Nina left a quickly scribbled note on the counter for her mom: the usual. She wasn't even sure why she still had to: her mom never got home until ten at night anyway, and Nina was almost always at the shop, babysitting those damn kids next door for coffee money, or home nowadays.

Grabbing her bag and about ten bucks, she dashed out the door and began to walk to the shop. It was only about four blocks through an okay neighborhood, and Nina figured the exercise was good for her.

While walking, she let her mind wander. It landed and latched straight on her mother.

Gwen Adams was an okay mother, but the stress of the divorce, her recently ex-husband _dying_ of a terminal illness, and being stuck with two teenage daughters had taken its toll on her, and she sometimes reverted to alcohol.

Nina wished she could do something sometimes, but she hardly ever even saw Gwen. Besides, Nina was a great listener, but actually talking to her mother was entirely different.

And, of course, there was Isabella. Seventeen years old and with a deep-seated hatred of this life – tiny apartment, overprotective mother, weird and home-schooled sister – Isabella never really fit in. She, like Gwen, was almost never home. Often going to concerts, staying with friends, out with her boyfriend, the girl worried her mother. But Isabella was planning on moving out as soon as she was able and attending Madison-Wisconsin University for zoology.

Nina nearly ran into the café door, but caught herself just in time. She greeted Hope, who was manning the station, and lugged her bag and newly-bought coffee to her usual table.

One seat was occupied.

Crap, she usually got that seat! It was the most comfortable, though, and she could see someone else wanting it. She picked out another empty table and began walking towards it when a voice called her back.

"Nina!"

She spun around, recognizing it.

"Damn, damn, dammit!" she chanted.

"Ouch! Am I really that bad?" Tony Stark cried.

"Yes."

"Please sit down!" he begged.

"Why…?"

"Because… there's an empty seat?"

"Gah!" But she did so. "Why are you here?"

"Because I like it here, I like you, and it's quiet enough to get work done."

"You have work?"

"Yes, I have work! I own a company!"

"Kind of… doesn't your girlfriend do that?"

"That's not the point."

"Mmm. So. You like me?"

"You're not as cool as me, but you're more interesting than _some_."

"Oh. Thanks, I think. Well, sit there if you want, but I have class." Nina pulled out earbuds and put them in. "You have to be quiet for an hour."

"How does this café-schooling work?"

"My teacher will give a lecture. I will listen. Then she will assign homework. I will do it. I will e-mail it to her. You will do your work. Silently." She pointed at his StarkTech thing (she didn't know what it was called, and didn't want to ask – she'd probably die of jealousy).

They were quiet then. Tony had to leave a half-hour later, but Nina grinned cheerfully at him and waved, and he found himself smiling back, so.

When he got back to the Tower, Pepper asked him where he'd been. He told her, slightly annoyed. He'd gotten back in plenty of time for all his meetings and boring stuff, hadn't he?

Steve gave him a smile. It wasn't a huge one like Nina's, but it was sweet.

Damn himself, what was he becoming?

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I think I'm right. My disclaimers are longer than my chapters. Um. Well, I've always loved writing dialogue more than exposé.

Please, please review. Thank you to those who reviewed and favorited!

Speaking of reviews, you may have noticed I reviewed mine. I'm sorry, I was on the wrong page when I did that by accident: it was for another Avengers story. (I just watched the movie again!) only lets me delete anonymous reviews. I'm sorry – now I look egotistical, reviewing my own story!

Have a beautiful day, and remember, Santa brings more presents to the people who review!


	4. Candy Crush and the Hulk (kind of)

Disclaimer:

Thor: The Lady Golden Gibberish does not own the Avengers, movie-verse or otherwise. (turns to Tony) What is movie-verse?

(Tony enters a long and complicated explanation that quickly goes off on more tangents than a Tangela. Thor looks lost.)

gg: I also do not own any of this weird and inexplicable plot. That belongs to the Rabid Plot Bunny (RPB) who I swear is the same bunny from Monty Python.

Natasha: Um, do you mean that slavering, freaky thing in the corner?

gg: Yup. He just showed up one day. I had this sudden urging to write fanfiction and create an account.

Loki (appearing suddenly): Damn that creature! This story is all his fault!

gg: AUGH! Loki! Why do you keep showing up? You're not even in this story!

Loki: I'm your favorite character! I have to keep showing up because you love me so much. When this fic is over you'll probably write a depressing, angsty one all about me.

Thor (running away from Tony, ears bleeding): Loki! It is wonderful that you have found someone who loves to write about you!

Loki: Ah…

gg: Um, there are _way_ better Loki writers than me. I mean, look at this disclaimer. All Loki's done is promote my next fic which he's getting totally wrong! I wanna do LotR next!

(RPB giggles disgustingly. Everyone shies away.)

(Natasha hits gg upside the head.)

gg: Ow! Why?

Natasha: Finish this one before you start writing new ones!

gg: I blame RPB!

**Chapter 4: In which Tony loves Candy Crush and Janina is compared to the Hulk**

Tony became a regular customer at the café. He showed up random mornings, when he was overworked, hadn't gotten much sleep, running away, etc. and began to greet the workers by name. His visits were erratic, sometimes not coming for weeks, and then five mornings in a row. Sometimes he was even called away on Avengers business while there. When he did come, he always sat by Nina if she was there, and always paid for her coffee.

Nina decided he wasn't a pedophile. Tony decided that Nina was an honorary niece, though he could never get her to call him 'Uncle Tony'. ("It sounds so creepy!")

Nina would sit at the table, doing homework or writing. Almost exactly a month after they had met in the café, she had allowed Tony to read one of her stories. Tony had been amazed – the writing was beautiful, the stories brilliant, allegorical, layered. He could even see differences in her mood when she wrote: when she had been happy, when she had been angry, and so on. There were a lot of stories, and she began to ask him to look over them for corrections. He told her he'd be honored to read them all, but frankly, he was an engineer, not an English major, and they were brilliant anyway.

Well, he said it a bit more sarcastically than that, with his usual amount of bravado and insults, but Nina was used to that by now.

Nina complained of her laptop though – it had a tendency to erase bits of her writings if she didn't save them multiple times. He did notice that she always dressed colorfully.

Tony, wearing a suit for the first few times, and gradually becoming more casual as he got more comfortable, would pull out his Starkpad and catch up on work, design new stuff, or play Candy Crush. (When Nina expressed concern over the fact that Tony had become obsessed with the game, he waved it off, saying, "Sweetheart, this is _not_ my worse obsession." Needless to say, it was not reassuring. She threw a napkin at him.)

He also ranted to her a lot. He found that, when she wasn't sarcastic or ignoring him, she was a fairly good listener and offered sound advice (when she understood the problem. When he was talking about 'sciencey crap way beyond my reading level', she was lost. But even then, it often helped to bounce ideas off her.) Tony didn't seem to realize that most of his rants were about Pepper, Fury, or various members of the Avengers Initiative, ("Nina, Pepper makes me go to all these boring business meetings!" "Nina, Rhodey is so boring, he won't drag race the Iron Patriot with me!" "Nina, Natasha threw her knives at me again!" "Nina, Steve gives me adorable puppy-dog eyes and I can't say no!") and when not revealing huge relationship issues, he was often giving away some pretty classified info. Not that Nina'd tell anyone, but still. She began to suspect that Tony had a huge crush on one of the Avengers (*coughcoughStevecough*) and didn't see it. It was, however, affecting his and Pepper's relationship, whether he knew it or not.

Nina was not always there, nor was Tony. They both would always stay for an hour or two at least when they did go, though.

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One day, when Tony arrived, he found something wrong. He hadn't met Nina there in about a week – he'd been busy, and the one morning he'd managed to make it, she hadn't been there.

Nina was there now, but she was different.

Instead of her usual, brilliant, and slightly odd display, she was completely dressed in black. She drooped barely noticeably at her laptop. When Tony went to sit by her, he noticed bulging under her sleeves.

"Hey – Nina, you okay?" Tony was worried. He'd unconsciously included the girl in his small 'family', along with Pepper, Rhodey, and (most recently) the Avengers. Seeing her like this, not her usual throwing-stuff-y (yes, he knew it wasn't a word) self was slightly scary.

"It's Janina. And go away, Tony." Even her voice was different – almost monotonal, robot-y (yes, also not a words. Engineer, not English major, remember?).

"Ni-Janina. What happened?"

"Nothing."

Tony knew a lie when he saw it. He also had a good guess what those bulges were. He gently picked up her arm and slid back the sleeve, revealing a lot of bandages.

"Why?" he asked. Tony understood what it was like to want to hurt yourself. He'd been through all that quite a few times. And now, with Nina… he'd started to feel protective. Tony didn't like many people. But when he did, he would do just about anything for them. He'd be kind if the situation called for it, sarcastic if it didn't, but he cared.

(Steve was starting to realize this. He'd noticed it a while ago, but he figured Tony always had an ulterior motive. But recently…)

"I – I have DID."

Oh. Tony'd heard of that – Dissociative Identity Disorder, perhaps more commonly known as Multiple Personality Disorder.

Nina began to speak. "I don't have it bad… I really am quite lucky, I suppose." She laughed, but it was an awful sound: rough and full of derision. "I only have two alters – identities. Right now I'm Janina. You normally see her – see me – as Nina. I even remember almost everything from Nina, and she can remember everything I do. And I haven't… I mean, my meds have kept me from coming out in months. They thought I might be done…"

"But…"

"But a few days ago, Nina turned into me. My mother didn't want me to leave the house, but it was getting stifling." Janina grimaced.

"I understand."

"No, you don't." Janina laughed that laugh again. "Just like all the doctors. _And _my mom, _and_ my sister, and _every one_ of those psychiatrists. They all _love _Nina, but they don't understand me. I_ scare_ them. My mother is falling apart because of _me_. We don't have any money because of_ me_."

"No, I don't completely. But I think I do, at least a little." Tony grinned wryly. "I have my own set of disorders… Narcissism, PTSD, and so on."

Janina looked surprised. "Really?"

"Yup. And if we're talking about people with opposite personalities, I know a guy. His name is Bruce." The public didn't know that Bruce Banner was the Hulk, but Tony had accidentally let it slip to Nina once, and she'd kept it a secret.

She smiled, slightly. But it was a smile. And they continued as Nina and Tony had, and when Tony finally had to go, Nina was back.

Nina went back to her small apartment and changed immediately from the black to a bright orange. When her single mother got home that night from her shift, she almost cried with happiness to see her daughter, a symphony in fall colors, watching Doctor Who with her Isabella.

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Thank you for reading! Please tell me how I did – this was a difficult chapter, and I'm not sure about it. Constructive criticism would be brilliant.


	5. Birthdays and family

Disclaimer:

gg: I do not own the Avengers.

Tony: Or any good ideas.

Nina: Tony, I'm one of her ideas!

Tony: NINA-KINS! (Tackle-hugs her)

Nina: WHAT THE HELL?

Tony: Nina, you've never been in the comments!

Nina: And this is why…

Tony: Why what?

Nina: You're clueless, aren't you?

Tony: ?

Loki: Don't bother.

Tony: STOP DOING THAT!

Loki: It isn't my fault you're not used to teleportation.

Nina: Um… Listen, about that thing in Chapter 1… with the rock…

Loki: Do not worry, I have had my revenge.

Nina: What?

Loki: I dyed your hair rainbow colors.

Nina: AAAUUUGGHHH!

Phil (bursting in, holding up the gun from the movie): HOW DARE YOU TORTURE INNOCENT GIRLS, YOU EVIL… man? God? Person!

Loki: HOLY BILGESNIPES! … Wait – that gun can't hurt me!

Tony: I… uh… modified it. With Thor's lightning.

Loki: Fuck. (Runs off, Phil chasing)

Tony: Your hair looks cool!

Nina: Yeah, I know. But I wanted to give Phil another reason to hate Loki.

gg: If you'll excuse me, I'll be in a corner. Hiding. (trudges to nearest corner)

Nina: Not that one…! Too late. (screaming is heard from the corner)

Tony: What?

Nina: That's the RPB's corner. (collective shudder)

**Chapter 5: In which Nina has a birthday and we meet the family**

"Nina, when is your birthday?"

"Hm? June 13, why?

"Oh, nothing…'

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Three months passed after Tony found out about Nina's DID. He met Janina a few more times, but she never cut herself again.

"Nina! There's a package for you!" Ms. Adams called her daughter down from her room. The mother had finally gotten a day off of work, and the family of three was planning a day out. She was also not drunk.

"What?" the young girl, 15 as of about two hours ago, tumbled down the stairs. "Sweet! Who's it from?"

"Umm…" Gwen checked the package. "Tony Stark."

"_Tony Stark?_ Why would _Tony Stark_ send you a package?" Isabella stuck her head out of the bathroom, towel wrapped around her chest.

"'Member how I mentioned that he goes to the café sometimes? Well, sometimes he buys me coffee." Nina stopped, package in hand. "Wow, that sounded awkward. No, he's kinda a friend. Not like that, mom! Just… like… an bigger brother, I guess."

She ripped open the package, and gasped. A gorgeous, sleek black laptop with a rainbow paint splatter design lay in the wrappings. It had a sticky note:

_(Ja)Nina: Happy 15__th__! Here – designed this just for you, one-of-a-kind. Don't get all freaky on me: it was fun and helped me avoid a business conference. You can write all your stories on a laptop that won't delete them for fun. It should transfer everything from your Apple pretty easily, too. -Tony_

"_Tony Stark_ designed a _laptop_ _just _for _you_?" Isabella read over her sister's shoulder, long, dyed-blonde hair dripping onto Nina's purple shirt.

Nina pulled out the laptop and sighed in pleasure. Underneath the thin computer was a pile of cords, all labeled in Tony's messy scrawl. (laptop charger, iPod cord, etc.)

"He rants to me a lot; I guess this is an apology."

Gwen blinked. "_Expensive_ apology."

Nina laughed a little. "D'you really think _Tony Stark_ cares about money?"

Before she could be answered, a phone rang. "Oh, that's mine." The girls' mother picked up her cell and answered it. "Hello, this is Gwen Adams. What can I do for you?"

Isabella couldn't hear what was said, but she saw her mother droop a little, she had a good idea. On one hand, it meant she was out of a 'family fun day', but on the other, her mother had to work yet _again_.

Nina felt a little bad for her mother, but a day at the museum wasn't what she considered the most exciting birthday ever. Now she'd have time to play with her new laptop.

"I'm sorry, dears, but I have to go to work. Julia got sick and they _really_ need a sub. I'm so sorry, Nina, I know it's your birthday-"

"No, mom, I understand. Don't worry about it. Maybe some other time we can go to the Met."

"Oh, you're so mature, sweetie. I'll see you tonight, but don't stay up and wait, 'kay?"

"Okay."

Gwen rushed around the house for a little while and then left. Isabella went somewhere, probably her boyfriend's. Nina, not wanting to wait 'till she got to the café, opened the laptop.

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Three hours later, after transferring everything from her Apple (which only took half an hour) and deleting it all from the old computer to give to Isabella, Nina was nearly jumping for joy with wonder at the gift. Isabella had been planning on buying a computer for college, but now she wouldn't have to, as Nina could just give her her old one. (and Nina didn't have to get her a going-away gift.)

The laptop was amazing. It had enough memory to hold entire libraries, and somehow, Tony had set it up so that she'd never need to pay for Netflix or iTunes (and, she noticed, it was already full of Tony's favorite music: AC/DC, Guns and Roses, etc.). Any downloading was almost immediate.

She was amazed.

It also had Tony's e-mail and phone number programmed into it, and another number labeled '_only for really __really__ huge emergencies, so not like you got lost in the grocery store or anything'._ (She hoped that he hadn't just given her the Avenger's number. She was pretty sure that was classified and that she could most likely get in trouble for having it.)

Nina decided that not only was Tony not a pedophile… maybe he could be family, too. She didn't trust easy, but…

"_What the hell?!_" Nina almost dropped the laptop in shock when she discovered the 3D holographic features.

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"So? So?" Tony bounced up and down excitedly.

"So, what? Nina asked coolly. "How much coffee have you had, exactly?"

"Not enough. So laptop?"

"It's…" Nina sighed, and blushed. Wait – blushed? Nina didn't blush! "It's wonderful, Tony, but…"

"But what?"

"But it's probably super expensive, and like you said, it's one of a kind, and-"

Tony interrupted her with a wave. "For god's sake, Nina, I'm a billionaire! I'm not exactly poor. But if you really feel bad, then you could always do something for me…" Tony trailed off.

"Yeah?"

"Take care of yourself." he said quietly.

Nina's jaw dropped. "Who are you and what have you done with the real Tony?"

"I have invested too much time in you." Tony continued loftily. "I can't have you wasting all of that, can I?" Ignoring Nina's amazed face, he leaned over and gave her a kiss on the forehead. "I have to go." And he did.

Nina thought for a minute on which was a better present: the laptop or the kiss. She realized the answer was obvious:

The laptop.

Just kidding! Tony was treating her like family. Like… like her father used to.

Nina didn't realize she was crying a little until a drop hit the keyboard.

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You are all wonderful people who love to write reviews.

You know you do.

Don't lie to yourself.


	6. Brutal interrogations and other family

Disclaimer:

Nina: The only thing Golden Gibberish owns is me and my family. Also that coffee shop.

gg: If I owned a coffee shop, I would drink it out of business.

Thor: ?

gg: I'd drink all the coffee in the entire store instead of selling it.

Bruce: I don't think that's physically possible…

(Thor and gg give him patronizing looks)

gg: You doubt my coffee-drinking ability?

Thor: I could drink more coffee than you.

Nina (shaking her head): Them's fightin' words, Thor!

gg: Oh, it's _on_ now!

Bruce: Ah-

(gg waves her hands and suddenly a coffee brewer the size of the Sears Tower appears)

(Thor and gg grab mugs)

gg: Nina, you and Bruce keep filling mugs for us. (points towards a mountainous stack of mugs) Whoever stops first loses!

Bruce: What?

Nina: We can't leave! Her Author Powers bind us here! We have to do what she says!

Bruce: NOOOOOOOOO!

Thor: I am ready, my lady!

gg: Ready to lose, you mean! And… go! (Thor and gg begin chugging)

(Hours and countless mugs later)

Nina: My god, are they still going?

Bruce: I might be sick…

Nina: Don't you dare abandon me now!

Bruce (to readers): Listen, people, this might take a while. How about you just read the chapter, and get back to us next time?

**Chapter 6: In which Tony is brutally interrogated and we meet the other family**

"Tony, where do you go in the mornings?" Clint asked conversationally as he scavenged for food in the large kitchen. It was slightly scary how much they all consumed.

Tony ate a lot, being a grown man who was constantly working.

Natasha and Clint had to eat a lot, too, given how much exercise they had.

Bruce was eating for two people, one of them being a gigantic green rage monster.

Steve's metabolism ran four times as fast as a normal person's, and that plus constantly working to save the world gave him a huge appetite.

Thor was a _god._ 'Nuff said.

It was probably a good thing that Tony was a billionaire. The amount they ate, the cost needed to fix everything they broke (which was a hell of a lot, really), villain attacks, and various other expenses tended to rack up.

Compared to them, Pepper, Darcy, and Jane (who all lived at the Tower. Jane and Thor were thinking of getting married; and Darcy, after being given some useless, high-paying job by Tony – mostly to keep her around because she made him laugh – had begun a rather confusing but stable relationship with Bruce) ate practically nothing.

The Avengers had avoided each other in the beginning, but risking their lives for each other for more than half a year turned out to be a wonderful bonding agent. Steve and Thor were the first to form a friendship, then Clint, and surprisingly (deciding that if Clint could, she could) Natasha. Bruce had taken a little longer, nervous about the Hulk, but after meeting and being asked out by Darcy (she couldn't wait for the shy doctor to ask _her_) he had loosened up a great deal. Tony, while owning basically the entire Tower and nearly everything in it, had managed to never be available, and when he was, he was up to his elbows in machinery or paperwork.

Then Steve had come very close to dying while saving Tony's life.

Now they had warmed up to each other a little, and learned to live with each other.

When Clint, Tony, and Darcy all grinned a little maniacally at random points, everyone learned to evacuate, but first check themselves in a mirror for kick-me notes or marker on face.

They'd all learned how to talk to the Hulk, and Hulk learned not to smash everything on sight (unless they were in a battle or anything by Justin Bieber was on. In case of the first, everyone was grateful. In the case of the second, no one blamed him).

Clint and Natasha learned to open up. Not too much, though, they had to keep their super-scary assassin facades sometimes.

Everyone learned not to annoy each other to the edge.

They also learned when to drag Tony out of the lab and feed him, and when to leave him alone because he was busy discovering cold fusion or designing a lightsaber or something.

So, life didn't completely suck in the Tower.

And Clint and Bruce were absolutely amazing cooks, so there.

Fury was proud. Actually, he was totally relieved. Either they were going to blow each other up on the first week or they'd become, as Tony put it, 'super-secret-awesome-spandex-or-gold/titanium-alloy-wearing-BFFs-for-life'.

"Oh, y'know, just a coffee shop, nowhere special." Tony replied offhandedly, catching up to the news on his Starkpad.

Steve looked up from his newspaper (which he insisted on, despite Tony's protests). "Wait, the one with that one girl-"

"Who threw the rock at Loki? Yeah."

"Wait – you two've met her?" Natasha queried.

"Mhm. Why?"

"You should have reported that!"

Tony rolled his eyes. "Dear Mr. Fury. Today I met a fourteen-year-old girl in a café, who threw a rock at Loki months ago. Love, Tony."

Steve's smiled a little, but Natasha didn't. "_Seriously_, Tony, she might have been a _spy_!"

"I've been meeting her for almost seven months now. If she _is_ a spy, I'm screwed."

"Hang on, you've been meeting _a fourteen-year-old_ in a café for seven months? Dude, you are _such_ a pedophile! Steve! Not you, too!" Clint backed away from Tony.

"She's _fifteen_ now! And I'm not a pedophile!" Tony glared. "And Steve was only there once."

"She's not your _daughter_, is she?" Bruce asked.

"The Man of Iron has a _daughter_?" Thor clapped Tony on the back gently. (Well, gently for Thor, so basically really hard.)

"_No_! Jesus, you people have such perverted minds! Pepper," Tony moaned as the strawberry blonde walked in, Darcy and Jane following. "They think I'm a pedophile!"

"Or she's your daughter…"

"Or both!"

"Ewwww, Tony, gross!"

"Are they talking about Nina?"

"_Yes_!"

"Her name is Nina?" Natasha asked.

"Yes, and she won't be on any of your S.H.I.E.L.D. files, Spidey. She's not a supervillain or anything."

"_Everyone_ is on our files."

"That's…kinda kinky."

"Shut it."

"Lady Pepper, have you seen the Poptarts?"

"No, we're out."

"What?"

"Thor, you ate all of them yesterday."

"Yeah, you were showing Darcy how much you could eat."

"How much _could_ he eat? I got a stomachache after watching him for three hours and had to walk out."

"A lot, apparently. We don't have anything left."

"Anything?"

"Um… two bruised apples, a stale box of cereal, and a few boxes of… two week old Chinese. Yuck. Besides that, nothing."

"We must obtain more food!"

"To the grocery store!"

"I'm Tony Stark. I don't _do _grocery shopping."

"Who _buys_ all our food, anyway?"

"It just sorta… shows up."

"Oh my _god_, that's _creepy_."

"_I_ buy it. _And_ put it away. Steve helps, too."

"Not _really_, Pepper. I just carry the heavy stuff."

"Steviekins, you're too modest. Pepper, you do everything."

"Only because you're too lazy, Tony."

"I'm not lazy!"

"Yes you are."

"Mhm."

"Yeah…"

"Yup."

"You kinda are."

"Sorry, Tony."

"I'm not _lazy_! I'm a brilliant billionaire genius and all of you are brutally interrogating me. I'm leaving!"

"Where?"

"To his daughter, of course!"

"I wish to meet her, this daughter of yours."

"Me too."

"That's it. Tony, we are going to meet this girl."

"What? No!"

"Tony, as leader of the Avengers, I think we ought to meet this girl and make sure she's not a threat. Also we can get something to eat because I'm really hungry."

"I second that!"

"C'mon, then. Let's grab a car!"

"Um, I don't think we'll fit."

"We might need a bus, actually."

"We should get a bus."

"An Avengers bus!"

"Watch out, bad guys, they'll say! Here comes the Avengers bus!"

"That's tacky. And slow."

"Indeed, I would much rather fly to our destination with Mjiolnir."

"We'll just take a couple cars."

"You will not touch my cars!"

"You just keep thinking that."

"Bruce, press the button! Level one, garage!"

"I'm trying, but this elevator is seriously crowded!"

"Thor, move your bloody arm! You're choking me!"

"I apologize, Anthony, but there is nowhere to move it."

"God, Clint, you don't need to bring your bow!"

"How did you know?"

"IT"S STICKING ME IN THE BACK!"

"Oh."

"Why didn't we take the stairs?"

"We're here!"

"No need to push!"

"RIGHT! Darcy, Natasha, and Clint, in that one!"

"Nooooo, not that one! Clint, one scratch and you die!"

"Thor, Jane, and Pepper in that one!"

"Pepper is driving! Thor gets locked in the trunk-OW! Jane!"

"Me, Tony, and Bruce will take that one!"

"Why am _I_ stuck with the responsible people?"

"Because _you're_ Tony Stark!"

"Why do people keep using my name as an insult? It's the greatest compliment there is!"

"Where the hell _is _this café, anyway?"

"I'll _never_ tell you!"

"I know where it is!"

"What? You haven't been there for seven months!"

"Perfect memory."

"Fuck you!"

"Wait, does that mean you remember _everything_? Even that time when I-"

"Darcy, I will never forget that."

"Crap."

"C'mon, Steve! Get in the car and lead the way!"

"I get shotgun."

"No way! My car, my seats."

"Too late. Get in the back."

"GAH!"

"EVERYONE! All of you just follow my car!"

"It's _my_ car!"

"See you there!"

"Tony, who're you calling?"

"Nina! I'm warning her that an entire circus is showing up today!"

"Nope."

"Bruce, gimmie my phone back! Steve, make Bruce give me my phone back."

"Sorry, Tony, but I think we're trying to surprise her here."

"GAH! STEVE, THAT WAS A RED LIGHT!"

"Oops."

"This is _really_ not helping the Other Guy, Captain…"

"_Who taught you how to drive_?"

"No one."

"WHAT?"

"I don't know how to drive a car!"

"_Why_ are you _driving,_ th- RED LIGHT RED LIGHT RED LIGHT!"

"Because I'm the only one besides you who knows where the café is!"

"Is everyone still even following us?"

"Yes, somehow – STEVE, YOU'RE SUPPOSED TO STOP AT STOP SIGNS!"

"STEVE! DO NOT HIT THAT MAN!"

"STEVE! THAT IS NOT THE BRAKE! THAT IS THE ACCELERATION!"

"We're here!"

"Everyone OUT of my car!"

"Steve, it was _really _hard following you…"

"That's not too hard to believe, 'Tasha, since he doesn't know _how to drive_!"

"You need to take Drivers Ed_. Badly_."

"I can ride a motorbike!"

"_Not_ the same thing."

"HEY! Steve, is that the café?"

"Yes. C'mon."

"NOOOOOO! NINA! RUN!"

"Shut up, you're making a scene."

"I think the _Avengers_ walking into a _café _and _interrogating_ some _fifteen-year-old girl_ is a scene!"

"Whatever. Onwards!"

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MEANWHILE

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Nina was having a normal day. She got up, took a shower, got dressed, and cleaned the house a bit (a job she was always stuck with, because Isabella was a slob and Gwen was never home long enough to). She also called Milah, her friend who'd moved to London a few years ago. The four-hour time difference made it a bit annoying, though. Good thing Milah was an early riser.

Afterwards, she headed to the café. It was a gorgeous day, she noticed, soaking in the warm sun. Her laptop was under her arm in her messenger bag.

When she got there, she greeted Sarah and slid into he seat. Tony wasn't there, but she was usually first, when he did come. Nina pulled out her laptop. She opened up ALEKS and began to work. It sucked that she had homework to do over the summer, but she struggled in math more than any subject, and it took her longer to finish than any of her other classes (all of which were online as well, except for Composition IV, which she took at a co-op). She hoped that Tony would be here, because she really didn't get proofs.

She got a call, but before she could answer it, it stopped ringing. She didn't have caller ID (probably the last person on earth not to) so she had no idea who it was. Probably a wrong number.

Minutes later, she heard a commotion outside. Looking out, she saw…

An annoyed Tony. Well, okay.

A blushing, tall man that Nina vaguely recognized. Steve Rogers.

A tall, muscled guy with shoulder-length, silky blonde hair. Thor, maybe? She'd only seen them on TV, fighting, with blurry shots. Except for that one time with Loki, but then they were all in suits, armed, and covered in gore. It was hard to recognize them now, and only Tony was completely open with the public about his 'other identity'.

A confident-looking woman with medium length, strawberry red hair. Nina knew her from the papers: Pepper Pots.

Another redhead, only instead of light red, hers was fiery and dark. She had a body that Nina would kill for.

She stood close to (yet another) tall blonde, whose shirtsleeves had been cut off, showcasing wiry arms. He was laughing, and Nina was sure she caught a glint of blue eyes. They must be the Black Widow and Hawkeye, then, if Thor and Captain America were here.

Which meant that the floppy, brown haired, older man must be Bruce Banner. He was glaring at Steve, and saying something Nina couldn't hear.

That left two women, which Nina guessed to be Darcy and Jane, who Tony often talked about. She wasn't sure which was which until one grabbed Thor's hand. She must be Jane, then. So the curvy one who was laughing so loudly must be Darcy.

Then Hawkeye pointed imperiously at the café and marched in, everyone following him, Steve dragging a reluctant Tony.

Quickly, Nina looked back at her screen and straightened her shoulders, wiping the smile off her face.

"Is that her?"

"Looks like her."

"C'mon!"

"Tony goes first."

"There isn't enough room at the table for all of us!"

"Good, 'cause you ain't sitting with us. Go away!"

"After we came all this way?"

"Stop being so rude, Tony."

"Yeah, introduce us!"

They all clustered at the entrance of the shop, looking at Nina, who was deliberately not looking back at them. She could hear Pepper apologizing profusely to Sarah, who was trying very hard not to laugh while assuring the businesswoman it was fine.

"Greetings! You must be the daughter the Man of Iron has been talking about." Thor decided that he was tired of waiting and went up to introduce himself. "I am Thor, Son of Odin."

Slowly, Nina looked up. "I am Nina Adams, very much _not_ daughter of Tony Stark. And very happy about that fact. Will you sit down?"

Thor did, while Tony glared. "_When_ did I say she was my daughter?"

"It was that or pedophile." Bruce shrugged.

"I'm _not_ a _pedophile_!" Tony cried.

"Sure?" interjected Nina. "All those times you followed me home, creepy questions…"

"Tony!" Pepper and Steve yelled at the same time.

"I didn't…"

"I thought better of you!" Steve shook his head.

"I'm not…"

"Tony, you are disgusting! This poor girl…" Pepper cried.

"I _haven't_… Nina! The hell?"

She grinned. "Sorry, darlin', but that's revenge for the hazelnut incident."

"That was an accident!"

Nina gave him a look that, if Natasha didn't know better, was purely Coulson.

"Well, _mostly_ an accident… but _still_!"

Clint saw the way the two interacted with each other, and was shocked. Nina acted like Tony was her little brother or something, and Tony looked comfortable. He recalled how long it had taken Tony to be like that with them.

"Um, no offense or anything," Nina interrupted Tony mid-sentence. "but why are you all here?"

"We wanted to meet you!" Darcy trilled.

"We wanted to see where Tony went so often in the mornings." Natasha elaborated.

"And?'

"We've found another Pepper!" Jane said.

"Or Steve…" Bruce corrected.

Nina cocked her head. "What?"

"Someone who can control Tony." At this point, everyone had cannibalized a chair from other tables and sat down.

"Then you mean Natasha." Tony folded his arms. "They both throw stuff."

Nina threw a pen at him. The uncapped side hit his face, leaving a sparkly green trail on his face (Nina's favorite color ink).

"Nice shot!" Clint and Nina shared a high five.

"She doesn't throw _knives_ at you, though." smirked Natasha, proud of the fact that she was unique in this.

"Umm, actually…" Nina winced.

"Yes, she does!"

"It was just a butter knife!"

"No, _they _were just butter knives. And then there was that one time-"

"That doesn't count!"

"Why?"

"Because I didn't throw it at you, I just stabbed it at you!"

"Hmph."

"Oh, and hey, you still owe me 20$."

"No way! I totally won that bet!"

"She _was_ a guy!"

"A _gay_ guy who recently had _surgery_! Doesn't count!"

Pepper, Jane, Steve, and Bruce all choked simultaneously. Darcy and Clint were shaking with laughter. Thor just looked confused.

Then Tony's stomach growled. Loudly.

Nina leveled a glare at Tony. "When was the last time you ate?"

"Why?"

"Anthony Edward Stark, when did you last eat?"

"Three hours ago."

"Let me rephrase that. When did you last consume something that was not alcohol, coffee, junk food, or greasy leftover take-out?"

"Three days ago?"

"That's it. We're getting breakfast," she checked her watch. "Or lunch. Whatever. You're paying, Mr. Billionaire, and," she paused and looked around at the Avengers plus girlfriends, "you can come too, if you want."

So they went.

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Jane: I have been asked-

Darcy: _We_ have been asked.

Jane: _We_ have been asked to close this up, as Golden Gibberish and my boyfriend-

Darcy: The super-hot super-muscled one.

Jane: As opposed to?

Darcy: Loki. Well, I suppose he's hot too. But he's more elegant than muscled.

Jane: Sorry?

Darcy: Y'know, the guy you're secretly dating? Thor's bro?

Jane: What… I'm not… why… Loki…?

Loki (appearing suddenly): I hear my name?

Jane: I do not love you!

Loki: Good. I hate you too. Weak mortal.

Darcy: Aw, you're so cute together!

Loki & Jane: Darcy…

Darcy: That's my name!

Loki: Can I kill her, please?

Jane: Go ahead.

Darcy: Jaaaane!?

Loki: Your Beast isn't here to save you now, Darcy Lewis…

Darcy: Bruuuce!

(Loki advances on Darcy. But before he can do anything-)

Phil: DON'T TOUCH THAT GIRL! (aims Super Scary Gun at Loki, who raises his hands)

Loki: Look, I _said _I was sorry!

Phil: Well, yeah, but…

Loki: And you, you're not even dead! In fact, you're fine! So I didn't kill you, did I?

Phil: Well, no… But you got blood all over my cards. Indirectly, but still.

Loki: I'll get you better ones.

Phil: Really?

Loki: Really.

Phil: BFF's?

Loki: Tots.

(The two ride off into the sunset)

Jane: Uh, what?

Darcy: Just Review, please, people! You know you want to make gg's day!

Jane: 'Cause Thor's totally gonna beat her, and she'll feel bad.

Darcy: Thankie much for reading, and remember: Review!


End file.
